5 Steps to Find the Right Trainer (or Instructor)
Inadequate horse training and riding instruction take shape in all sorts of nefarious ways. Stories are abundant of horses coming back to owners worse than when they left or a student’s confidence that’s been compromised because the instructor pushed them too hard. Not to mention cases of horses being neglected/abused, services that are not honored, and students' ignorance being taken advantage of. The cold reality is that anyone can add “horse trainer” or “instructor” to their business card and promote themselves inaccurately.
Ultimately the result of underqualified help is distrust, lack of confidence, and wasted financial resources. Fortunately, this dismal outcome does not have to be the case! Let’s look at some steps to protect ourselves, our horses, and our pocketbook.
*Cultivating curiosity with this sensitive mare.
1. Notice how they speak to YOU……….
As our horse’s guardians, we need to consider how potential instructors speak to us about the challenge we seek to improve. Does this person speak in ways that are kind, supportive, and non-judgmental? Or, do they blame and put others down? I know this can seem irrelevant, but it is vitally important. How trainers choose to talk to you about your skill level, previous choices, and other training, in general, will say a LOT about them. Ensure that their language around any given topic is in line with your goals, morals, and values. If this part is shaky, then it is most likely not going to get better with time!
2. Watch them with other students and horses as much as possible!
This is a wonderful way to see how they work in the real world. Is the environment empowering, uplifting and inspiring? I know this can sound like an unrealistic, utopian dream, but this is an authentic state to the most qualified trainers. These trainers stand out because they believe in meeting students and horses where they are, free from judgment, shame, and overt force.
Ideally, during your time observing, you can see situations “not going as planned.” These sorts of predicaments separate great coaches from mediocre. How trainers and instructors deal with stress is an honest indicator of their real skills and emotional thresholds!! Do they lose their cool, yell or get more forceful? Or do they stay calm, assertive, and solution-focused? This is vital because habits are just that, habits! If they do it under stress, you bet that if you or your horse are the source of their stress or happen to be in the path at the time of their stress, their response will most likely be the same. Many trainers are good when everything is good, but as soon as things get challenging, they have limited skills and often resort to ways that are not in the student’s or horse's best interest.
Simply, what you witness during these times should suit how you aspire to be with your horse!
3. Don't believe in timelines……
This is a hard concept to let go of, and only the world's great trainers follow this guiding principle. For example, if you hear “send your horse to me for 30 days and I will have that issue resolved” or “you (or your horse) should know this by now!” consider these statements a potential red flag. Often, when they are so sure of an outcome, they may be willing to use fast and hard methods to achieve results. Alternatively, they might be overestimating their skill level, and you will be sadly disappointed when the training takes three months when you only budgeted for one.
A respectable and seasoned trainer will say things like, “ Here are the steps I am going to take. Let's see where we are in 30 days.” Most Importantly, they invite you to come to observe as much as possible. They will also emphasize that you (the owner) need just as much, if not more, education as the horse. This is a critical aspect of sending your horse “away,” you need to have the skills to progress just as much as your horse; otherwise, training falls flat, and the partnership with your horse won't rise to its full potential. A good trainer will make this process a priority!
4. Let your voice be heard (follow your instincts)!
Great trainers and riding instructors will intuitively meet you where you are with strategic and mindful instruction. They will know when to add, repeat, or go back to any specific lesson. You and your horse will feel motivated, safe, and confident. If you ever feel anything else, such as fear, intimidation, unconfident, etc., speak up! Do not let these feelings slip away unaddressed. Chances are, it will not get better and will happen again. When we don't address what makes us or our horses feel uncomfortable, it causes a loss of confidence and instantly takes us out of the precious learning zone. Speaking up is a part of our responsibility to the partnership with our horse. If we don't, who will??
5. Seek like-minded people…..
It can be an overwhelming task trying to find the right horsemanship mentor. It may take some time to line up with someone and their methods. Be PATIENT!!! It will be worth the wait and most likely save you time, money, and disappointment. One of the best ways to find a suitable instructor is through “word of mouth.” Ask people who you admire and are inspired by. Most likely, they know of someone that is giving similar instruction. Social media is a plethora of information, and there are plenty of people willing to provide recommendations. Facebook, in particular, is a great place to join local equestrian groups and event pages. In addition, these days, many trainers are offering virtual lessons and distance coaching. This technology opens the door to even more possibilities of finding a good match!
Stay on the hunt for your perfect person, and your reward will be the gift of wisdom and growth. Potentially, you will find a whole community of like-minded people who can provide valuable input, additional support, and fun!!